Am i going nuts again?or is it just the lonely night?

I was outside just now at serangoon garden with oger and i came across a few old friends at different times and one of them actually mentioned of a name that sparks my rage.His name is jun hong,that bastard use my IC to borrow $ from ah long and fleed without me even knowing he did that!wa lauz!

I that time only ask him help me take back my IC from the lan shop and he instead go and use it to borrow from loan shark!oh my god!what kind of friend is that?!hate him so much that i want to tear him to pieces now...but anyway it's over already since last year -_-" but still he better not let me see him else i really don't know what i will do if i can't control myself.

The last time i can't control my rage,i think i almost killed someone lol (must control...must be calm...).I just came home just now and forgot to bring my keys lol i had to call my mum to wake her up and open the door for me so suay -_-"



These few days like so emo,today only got four red packets,then keep on like got issues with lao por...feel like she don't love me or she got another one more guy outside with her that she won't let me know...so sad now...is it just me?or could it be all the things is my imagination that my lao por treated me coldly?or is it that what is happening to me makes me so stressed up and cause me to fear so much?

I think i'm going nuts le maybe is the night that makes me think too much also...haiz...whatever the case i am really low in confidence with myself.If there is a day that lao por don't want me already or really have an affair i would choose to keep quiet and move on...i got to be stronger,wiser,better then ever to make sure i'm desired and not rejected to keep me moving...

Stars in the night...

I was walking back home just now,looking up at the stars...wondering if my lao por is looking at it too...i miss her so much.So depressed now...out of job,the person i love is not around,still don't like to stay with my family,emo.The only thing i have left now is my friends haiz...don't know how long i can hold on anymore...



Just now call my lao por so many times she never answer call,sms her also never reply...the last time i receive her sms is 23:14 so worried what happen to her now till i don't even dare to sleep.Now time is 6:57 i will be waiting till she sms me else i really scared what happened to her.cry*

Midnight memories

Asked sheena for help on editing my pics,although i added them together myself already on microsoft but i cant convert it from document to pictures -_-" .So have to consult the pro lor lol, after that she help me convert it in 15 mins time lol.I really appreciate the help thanks else later my lao por sure complain to me i nvr do it for her de,come back that time i die die le -_-".

Looking at our pics really bring memories...still can remember how we started...i met her downstairs her house den i was on the phone with a customer of mine and was smoking...she gave me the -.-" look lol...after that i ask her where is the nearest atm and she brought me there but atm out of service is so funny the situation haha.

We took a cab down to take a stroll after that and ask the driver where is the nearest beach then he said he don't know i was like wa lauz dotz,eventually we decided to go east coast and during the trip,she is so so shy can even see that she is slightly shocked when i hug her lol,she got comfortable with it after awhile...

The memories with her is beautiful,how i wish i could have more of it but i can't sobz...still i will be patiently waiting for her arrival back in singapore and hug me saying 'i miss u'.love u lao por...please remember your promise,i will be waiting...

NIght of the living dead!

Playing L4D at eric's house and trying out advance mode for the 1st time,it's seriously very challenging comparing to the previous modes and i really started to hate tank alot after today's experience.The tanker can really do some serious havoc to the players making the game most of the time so dotz -_-"


TANKER


The game play of L4D is very interesting as although the gameplay can be very simple especially the controls but at the same time the AI is really smart.It's as though they knew exactly what makes the player go bonkers lol they are even better then alot of players in a manner of speaking making the game so human.

I made my lao por upset and hopes that she forgives me -_- if she don't forgive me she will sure like the zombie 'tanker' come after me and then i die die lo lol.I like to think that i love her alot till i scare lose her, or that she has any guys she might suddenly like that's why i'm so upseted by the event that happened yesterday.

I neglected to understand her feelings and situation.what i actually should have known is that she really loves me and is really afraid of losing me too...she also told me she never treated anyone like this before or even worry about her bf till like that before...i made her scared till she cried but she never tell me only..haiz i'm such a failure as a bf -_-"

Nightwalkers...

Oger and me was going out just now exchanging opinions and point of views about life and career,he was depressed cos he will be moving to chua chu kang soon which is like so far from hougang to start his new life and career.

He wanted to start and venture his business in the food industry over there and was saying he wanted to meet more often with me else,next time it wont be easy cos of the distance and he will be quite busy.

I do realize it will be hard on him as he has to help on supporting his brother to study and to support his mum as well being the only guy left in the family.It will be especially harder for him with no one to support him there and he dont even have much friends.

we chatted on the topic of understanding girls and his opinion is really hardly in my point of view and i guess he really has much to emphasize on when it comes to having a girl friend or pursuing after one,although regrettably i can't help him much i still wish him all the best.

Time now is 05:34 in the morning,i'm missing my lao por so much...a drop of tear rolled down my eye in the evening when i was listening to music and thinking of her,at the same time while lying on my bed,how i wish she was there to lie on my shoulder like she used to or holding my hands and say she love me...

Another night again....

Was outside in a park chatting with nick noting to do also...he ask me to go sentosa camping and go taiwan hiking with him lol but told me to bring girls with him also dotz... -_-".

I told him i have to become 'monk' for a year cos waiting for my lao por to come back from england and he ask me i intend to marry her is it?I was like "Huh how you know?" then he ask me if she is really worth it and i said "yes" cause she is really sweet and i love her...then he gave me the -_-" face lol

I really am very worried about her...sobz and missing her so much how i wish i can see her now...We had an oath and she promised to come back look for me to fufill it de...i really wish it will come true,don't wish to cry again...